Out of the Mouths of Brits

I recall that, during my brief stint in Taiwan, I wrote a bit about my experience meeting teachers from other parts of the English-speaking world. Whatever prompted me to do so was pre-mature; the experience I have had, and am continuing to have, with non-American teachers in Russia far outpaces the only occasional meetings I had with non-American colleagues on the eastern shores of the Pacific.

When it comes to TEFL teaching, Britain and America have carved up the world between them (I half wonder if the Pope had to be called in for this). American teachers and American English predominate in East Asia and Latin America. But Britain, by and large, gets the coveted prize of the Continent. where the local languages are easier to learn, the local culture easier to understand, and the local women...well, we won't go there.

There are two main, fairly obvious reasons why British teachers and British English predominate in Europe. The first is that Britain is much closer to Europe than is America. I imagine that being a relatively short flight home (even far-away Moscow is closer to England than New York is to Los Angeles) makes teaching in Europe more appealing to at least some British teachers.

The other reason British teachers are more readily found in Europe is that, because of European Union rules, it is much harder for American teachers to work legally in Europe. Newbie teachers from America, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa do not head to France or Italy, even if these countries are their ultimate goals; they head first to Korea, Taiwan, and Japan, build up their resumes, and then--if they decide to stay in EFL teaching and if they are lucky--snag a job in Europe after two or three years. Brits, being bearers of EU passports, have it much easier, as they can (at least I understand it) work in the EU without so much as a working visa.

Not being part of the European Union, Russia is one of the few countries that does not fit into the neat carving up of the world outlined above. Unlike in the rest of Europe (heck, unlike even across the border in Latvia), Britons, Irishmen, and Irishwomen have no advantage over Americans in terms of the Russian visa regime (actually, Brits have a slight advantage in that their visa application is only one page, whereas ours is two--but this is merely due to Russia's responding to a longer and more expensive visa application imposed by the U.S. on Russians, and has no bearing on how easy it is to get a visa). So both Yanks and Brits come to Russia to teach. I have seen no hard and fast statistics on the matter, but if my school is at all typical, I gather that the Russian TEFL world has Americans and Britons in rougly equal numbers (plus a few odd New Zealanders, Australians, and South Africans thrown in for good measure).

To my delight, I have befriended many of the British teachers at my school. I am part of a regular crowd that gets together on Thursdays for a few beer before the weekend (many teachers, including myself at present, have no classes on Fridays). The topic of differences between British and American English naturally pops up, and I have started joking that, while I may or may not come out of Russia fluent in Russian, I am certain to come out fluent in British English.

I will not bore you with a recitation of the more common differences between British and American English; there are books aplenty that will tell you that what is called a truck in New York is a lorry in Newcastle, that what is called a hood (on a car) in Miami is a bonnet in Manchester, and so forth. I have, however, noticed a few differences in British English that are not widely known on my side of the Pond, and felt I should share them here. These can be divided into three categories, grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation:

Grammar

1) Use of the present perfect: The British tend to favor the present perfect (I have done something) in situations where Americans are morely likely to use the past simple (I did something). This most commonly comes up when the adverb just is added into the mix. In America, we can say, "I just washed the car." In Britain, you can only say, "I've just washed the car."

2) First-person shall: Once something Americans considered as quintessentially British as toad in the hole, use of first-person shall in Britain had undergone rapid decline in Britain over the past 50 years. Partly, this is because Received Pronunciation, and the prescriptive grammar that went with it, are no longer fashionable in Britain. And partly it reflects the influence (some Brits would say invasion) of American film and television. Nonetheless, Brits do favor first-person shall in polite requests more than Americans, who instead tend to say, "would you like me to"?

3) Should do, may do, might do: I can't tell how common this is overall, but I have noticed more than one British teacher say I should do where an American would simply say I should. Typical exchange:

American teacher: Maybe you should look for some cheap tickets on the internet.

British teacher: You're right, I should do.

I have never heard an American use should do this way.

Similar constructions can be made with might and may, i.e.:

Yank: Are you going to go see the Indiana Jones movie this weekend?

Brit: I don't know, but I might do.

Vocabulary

1) Brilliant: In America, the word brilliant is used of exceptionally intelligent ideas or people, and more rarely for bright colors and lustrous gemstones. Among Brits, however, the word seems rapidly to be losing its brilliance. For Brits, Albert Einstein was brilliant, but so is your friend's suggestion that you pop round to your local pub. Similar to what has happened to great and awesome in America.

2) Posh: Though I don't think of it as "British English" the way I do using the word wee for small or vest for undershirt, Brits also seem to favor the word posh much more than Americans do. In America, this is a somewhat old-fashioned word applied to upscale restaurants, hotels, and (its origin, after all) ship accomodations. In Britain, it is a fairly common synonym for fancy or upper-class and is applied not just to things put also to people (and not only to Mrs. David Beckham).

Typical example: Who wants to see a show about a bunch of posh people in Brighton?

I think the closest American equivalent would be high-falutin'.

3) Tack: For Americans, this is something you use to pin posters to a wall. For Brits, it's the noun form of the word tacky, or an example of something that is tacky--i.e., "Oh yes...when I go to Paris, I shall be sure to buy the biggest piece of tack I can find and bring it back as a souvenir for the teacher's lounge."

4) Grott/Grotty: First, the Brits shortened grotesque into grotty. Then they decided grotty could also mean greedy (particularly with respect to food). After that, they decided that, when used in the sense of grotesque, grotty had the noun form grott. Americans prefer to leave the word grotesque alone.

5) Pissed: in America, this is a vulgar term meaning "extremely angry". In Britain, it's a vulgar term for being extremely drunk.

6) Brawly: Short form of umbrella. I have heard this said by teachers whose accents are Received Pronunciation, Yorkshire, Scottish, Geordy (more on Geordies later), and general British working-class, so I gather it is common throughout Britain, and among all classes in Britain.

7) Youse: Scottish/Northern English second-person plural. Compare y'all. Actually, scratch that. In Scotland, using youse shows that you're proud of your Scottish heritage. In America, using y'all just shows that you're the kind of voter Howard Dean wants the Democrats to reach out to.

8) Cinema: Yes, British people actually say cinema for movies/movie theater. The EFL textbooks didn't make this one up.

9) Hoover: what Americans call a vacuum cleaner. Can also be used as a verb: Would you mind if I hoovered the floor?

10) Tip-ex: What Americans call White Out or liquid paper.

11) DIY: short for "do-it-yourself," this has replaced queuing as the national pastime in Britain. What Americans--and not just Tim Allen--call "home improvement."

12) Queue (as verb): Well known by Americans as a Briticism, queue has to do double duty in Britain. Americans distinguish between standing in line (waiting in a queue) and lining up (forming a queue). Brits only get one word for both concepts.

13) Penultimate: in America, this means "dazzingly good". In Britain, it means "the next to last" item in a series and makes no judgments as to quality.

14) Series (television): in America, series is a lesser-used synonym for a program or show. In Britain, it refers to one year of a program or show, what Americans call a season. An American DVD package of a "complete series" is all years of that show; in Britain, "complete series" would only be used if the program ran for only one year.

15) Stone (weight): Although America may be alone in not having adopted the metric system at all, Britain has only half-adopted it. Traditional "English" measures are used in Britain alongside metric ones, including some that have passed out of use in America. The Brits still measure very heavy items in stones (one stone is 14 pounds). References to stones are often made when someone is described as being very fat.

16) Chav: Chiefly Geordy word for a low-class, poorly educated person. Similar concept to "white trash" in America, without the Confederate flag.

17) Char: Yes, the Brits still use charwoman and this charming shortened version of it. Americans make do with cleaning ladies.

18) Pudding: in America, this is sweet, slightly liquidy dish served as dessert. In Britain, it can refer to any kind of dessert. Ice cream and fruit salad can be "pudding" in Britain.

Pronunciation

1) Shit/Shite: In America, what comes out of a person's derriere always rhymes with the word hit. In Britain, it can be used as an adjective as well and--especially in this sense--can rhyme with the word kite.

2) Mobile: In America, the stress goes on the first syllable, except when referring to the city in Alabama: MOH bill, moh BEEL. In Britain, the stress goes on the second syllable: mh BIGHL (rhymes with while).

3) Wine/Whine: In America, we pronounce these words the same. In Britain, the "h" in while is said by many people. The common joke about a Jewish American Princess's favorite whine falls flat in Britain.

Things That Are Not British English, That Americans Mistakenly Think Are

1) Knock up: Americans, especially Americans writing for sitcoms, labor under a mistaken impression that in Britain, this verb means, "to wake someone up by knocking on the door." It does not. On both sides of the Atlantic, when a woman gets knocked up, the shouts of pain come nine months later, not immediately.

2) Wireless: No longer used in Britain to refer to radio except by people who can remember hearing Churchill speaking on the wireless. In the UK, as in America, the word now chiefly refers to mobile telephony.

3) Bobs Your Uncle: From what I gather, has not been said by any British person within the last fifty years.

4) Bob (as unit of currency): No longer used in Britain. The farthing has likewise been gone since 1960.

5) Saloon (car): I don't know if the British teachers I know are representative, but if they are, Brits no longer use this word which means bar or pub in America to refer to a four-door automobile.

6) Seldom: once the British aristocracy's preferred word for "rarely", seldom is seldom heard in Britain today. Even more seldom is heard a discouraging word. The only time I hear the word is from Russians who got this word out of stuffy, 1950s British grammars.

7) "The Times of London": as The Times in now considered Britain's national paper, it has dropped London from its name and in Britain is known simply as The Times. Calling the paper The Times of London stamps you an American as swiftly as walking around dressed up like Uncle Sam.

8) looking-glass: Only Alice bothers with the looking-glass in Britain these days. Ordinary Brits make do with mirrors just like Americans.

9) "U' and "non-U": Terms invented by Nancy Mitford for upper-class and non-upper-class English, these words had a brief vogue in Britain but are no longer popular. Brits still use vocabulary and accent to determine who belongs to the upper class, but are much more guilt-ridden and self-conscious about it than they used to be. Regional accents are now heard even on the BBC.