A Job Hunter's Bill of Rights

As a corollary to my last post, about the idiotic things that get said to you when you have the misfortune of being a job hunter, I feel it is time job hunters formed a union. If employers and other well-meaning and "well-meaning" people are going to insist that job hunting be treated as full-time job, I think job hunters should unionize and insist on better conditions within that job. Here is my modest proposal for a Bill of Rights job hunters should demand:

1) Job Hunters Have the Right to Have Their Resumes Read. By an Actual Person.

One of the most unbelievable aspects of modern job hunting is the emphasis on putting exact keywords into a resume or cover letter, for the reason that, if it does not contain these exact keywords, your resume or cover letter will not be found by the software employers use to find online resumes.

It's hard to think of anything more impersonal and depersonalized than this. We as job hunters are expected to put major amounts of time, thought, and effort into our job hunts. The least employers can do in return is read the resumes and cover letters that come in.

If we are prepared, potentially, to give years of our lives to your company, the least we can expect in return is that you take the time actually to read the resumes that come floating through your e-mail. If doing do requires hiring additional staff in your HR department, so be it.

2) Job Hunters Have the Right to Expect That Employers Will Prepare for Job Interviews and Least as Much as Interviewees.

I cannot count the number of times I have diligently gone through a prospective employer's website and learned all I could about that employer, only to come in and be interviewed by someone who had clearly not taken fifteen seconds to read my resume. The worst instance of this occurred one time when I was interviewed at an office of Merrill Lynch in New Jersey. The first question I was asked was whether I had any accounting experience. Um...no. If I'd had, it would have been on my resume. It turned out I had been brought in for this interview on the basis of my cover letter alone, and the interviewers had not bothered to check my resume to see if I had any qualifications for the position. Three hours of my life was wasted by this experience.

3) Job Hunters Have the Right to the Same Basic Courtesy as Other Human Beings.

First and foremost, this includes the right not to be asked inappropriately personal questions. While I have never been asked any question in a job interview that might be considered discriminatory and therefore illegal, I have been asked all kinds of questions about my personal dreams and aspirations that have nothing to do with my quaifications for the job in question.

It also covers such matters as not having employment decisions based on whether we accept water or tea during an interview, whether we need to use the toilet during the interview process (by this I do no advocate leaving an interview to go to the toilet...only that job hunters have the right to stop and use the toilet between meeting with different people), or whether our necktie happens to be a "rep tie" or some other kind of conservative pattern.

4) Job Hunters Have the Right to Expect Employers to Know the Difference Between Job Interviews and Counselling Sessions.

I remember distinctly an interview I had at a small public relations firm in New York. After being asked about my hobbies, I replied that I like to watch films and read. In fact, I have no real hobbies, but I needed to answer something.

The interviewer decided to give me a long line of advice about how I should go to Hollywood and work at getting a screenplay turned into a film. I tried to be as polite as possible, but a line had clearly been crossed. I think I quoted Doctor Zhivago at him, and told him that writing was no more a profession than good health.

Job interviewers, you are not our shrinks. Act accordingly.

5) Interviews for Jobs Should Not Be Cancelled Unless the Job Itself Disappears.

Even if employers think they have found the perfect candidate, they have an obligation actually to meet with every person they have invited in for an interview. Every candidate should have an equal opportunity to make his or her pitch. There is nothing more dispiriting than being uninvited for a job interview you have previously been invited for.

6) "Bait and Switch" is Under No Circumstances an Acceptable Interview Tactic.

Job hunters have the right to know what position they are interviewing for and, upon arrival at the interview, to be interviewed for that position, not another one.

Similarly, job hunters have the right to be told honestly whether they are coming in to interview for a position that actually exists or for a more general, informational interview. If you want us to come in for an informational interview, we are glad to do that. But don't pull a "bait and switch" on us.