Reading the Sears Catalogue

One minor irritation I've discovered in my brief time teaching English as a foreign language is that so many EFL/ESL students are not taught correctly how to ask for a bathroom in English. Almost to a man, they ask to go to the "toilet", not the "bathroom" or "restroom"--possibly because British people are less reticent about using the word "toilet" than Americans, but also, I suspect, because "toilet" belongs to the same class of international words as telephone and taxi. I am trying to make a point of correcting this error whenever it pops up. If a student asks to go to the "toilet," I make a point of correcting the error on the blackboard before I let him or her go. Last week, I managed to get at least one class of English language learners to start asking for the toilet politely.

Doing what Americans used to call "reading the Sears Catalogue", I am finding, can pose real challenges in Moscow. The supply of public restrooms is far from adequate for the number of people here. In many places, the only real option is to make use of port-a-potties private companies have set up on the street. These come complete with a provodnitsa (woman attendant--they are invariably female) who rations toilet paper.

Naturally, answering nature's call at one of these facilities comes with a price--generally about 15 to 20 rubles (about 65 to 85 cents). As I find the idea of paying to relieve myself outrageous, I make a point of using restaurant bathrooms even when I don't have to go that badly.

The lack of sufficient public toilets leads to some interesting social phenomena in Moscow. Where American restaurants and hotels try to keep out non-patrons who want only to use the restroom, at least insisting they buy a soda before they use the facilities, in Moscow it is perfectly acceptable to go into a restaurant or hotel for no other purpose than to "read the Sears Catalogue". On one occasion, desperately having to go, I resorted to paying 20 rubles to use a restaurant bathroom. In America, this would be seen as very strange. In Russia, it doesn't raise an eyebrow.