A Tale of Two Subways

Okay, boys and girls. Let's play a little game.

I am going to describe two subway systems to you. One is located in Country A, the economic and cultural capital of one of the wealthiest and most powerful nations that has ever existed, a country that is a colossus of economic and military power. The other is located in Country B, the capital of a country that has barely emerged from the third world, where power outages are not uncommon and hot water supplies get turned off for two or three weeks every summer.

Your goal is to guess which description goes with which subway system.

Category 1: Planning and Organization

One subway system exhibits excellent planning. Transfer points are always in the middle or at the end of platforms. Signage is clear and readable in the local language. All cars can run on any track. Its newest line opened toward the end of the 1970s, and an important extension of one line into and through the city center proceeds apace.

The other subway system is a hodgepodge of three different systems, two of them built by private companies, one by the city after a takeover designed to prevent the system's collapse. No new lines have opened on it since the 1930s, and one projected line that has never been built has become a symbol of government corruption and ineptitude.

Category 2: Beauty and Cleanliness

One subway system is the pride of its city and is decorated with statues, columns, murals, frescos, and mosaics depicting great military battles, leaders, and poets of the country's history. It is kept spotlessly clean.

The other system is decorated with peeling paint and is a practically a monument to grime.

Category 3: Frequency of Trains

One subway system operates trains at two-minute intervals during the day, five-minute intervals late at night. Passengers always have a rough idea when a train will be coming because a clock at either end of the platform indicates how long it has been since the last train left the station.

The other system has lines that go by names like "Never," "Rarely" and "Ghost" because of their infrequency of operation.

Category 4: Repair and Maintenance

One subway system is shut down for four and a half fours every night to allow for proper maintenance and repair of cars, track, and other infrastructure.

The other system never shuts down at night but subjects riders to a transit nightmare every weekend as some lines shut down, others run at slower speeds, and still others run on alternate tracks and lines.

Category 5: Price

One subway system offers a monthly pass for $52 a month that covers all subway, bus, trolley, and trolleybus operations within the city, for that calendar month.

The other system charges $83 a month for a similar level of coverage.

Category 6: Passenger Conveniences

One subway system provides adequate benches all along the track for passengers to sit in and wait for the next train, even though these trains arrive at very short intervals.

The other system provides few benches in most stations and in some none at all, even though trains arrive less frequently. Additionally, transit police frequently fine people for sitting on subway steps, even at times pregnant women.

Category 7: Stairs, Escalators, Elevators, and Handicap Accessibility

One subway system, though not designed to be handicap accessible, is rapidly becoming more so. Stairs are kept in good repair. Escalators sometimes malfunction, but as there are three or four escalators at each escalator bank, there is always at least one functioning in each direction. Elevators are not necessary in the system.

The other system is run by people who claim that handicap accessibility is impossibly costly. Stairs at many stations are broken, and the same people claim the system "lacks the technology" to repair them. Escalators exist in a few, high-profile stations in the city center but frequently malfunction or break down entirely. Elevators exist in only a few places and often reek of urine.

Category 8: Quality of Announcements

One subway system delivers station announcements at every station that are clearly audible in the local language.

The other delivers even service announcements in a garbled and incomprehensible way, through the mouths of people who barely speak the local language and seem determined to be as rude as humanly possible. The system intercoms frequently malfunction.